It's National Foster Care Month, so... Cross Over the Bridge!

While visiting my grandbabies in California last week, I met with a young couple who wanted to talk with me about adding to their family by adopting. They are young and energetic, successful, involved in their community---and already have two young children. They'd thought about adoption for years, he told me. With all the parentless children in the world, it seemed like a move whose time had come.

They both had grown up knowing kids who had been adopted. Some of their friends and neighbors had chosen adoption to build their families as well. Where should the start, they asked, and what were my recommendations?

They were already aware of the current crisis in international adoption in terms of lengthy delays and countries closing, but were unaware of the degree to which corruption and c ompetition is driving these problems to their eventual end. They also had heard about institutional delays experienced by children raised in orphanages. They were not surprised by the fact that many children adopted in this country through foster care are not all that different from children coming from abroad. \And they seemed to understand that adoption, no matter where or how or who, came with no guarantees.

We talked for a long time. They asked thoughtful questions and listened carefully. They took notes and referred back to them for more clarification. How did kids come into foster care here and how did they move eventually to parental termination and adoption? Was it a similar process internationally?

In the end, they left my daughter's home overwhelmed but excited. Foster care with the possibility of ending in an adoption? Maybe, but how would they ever be able to return a child they had grown to love if adoption were not the outcome? Nevertheless, they plan to contact their local foster care office for more information. International adoption? Also risky business. But again, they left with the names of two agencies to contact specializing in international placements. This young couple is excited about stepping out onto another path to family building. It's all about choice...and the consequences of those choices. And, it's not always about making the right choice, but how you live it!

By the way, there is a wonderful resource out there for families already involved in domestic child welfare and foster care or those interested in learning more. Check out www.fosteringfamiliestoday.com and tell them Cindy sent you.

And while you're deciding (or even if you're just curious) don't overlook the incredible work of the national team at AdoptUsKids. Visit their site to read about waiting children in all 50 states and the personal stories of families who have opened their hearts and arms to some of these children. Go to http://www.adoptuskids.org AdoptUsKids also has a blog where prospective waiting parents can get support and information from AdoptUsKids and each other. Go to adoptuskids.blogspot.com. It's worth the time!

From where I sit,
Cindy

What’s wrong with this picture?

Nothing, actually. Especially if you're part of a new niche market---a baby planner.

Martin Bashir’s report on ABC’s Nightline this evening was one of dark contrasts. On the one hand were reports of the suffering of hundreds of thousands of people in Myanmar in the aftermath of Cyclone Nargis. The death toll is estimated at 38,000. In the same week, China was hit by a three-minute-long, magnitude 7.9 earthquake, called the worst natural disaster in more than 30 years. 15,000 are estimated dead. While American’s are eager to help, aid is slow in arriving or even being refused.

While children are starving and dying on other side of the world, back home in New York and Los Angeles, a new niche market has sprung up to gobble the dollars of eager expectant mothers by helping them with everything from shopping to maternity clothes to setting up gift registries, and even hiring baby nurses and nannies. Enter the Baby Planners, who for $150+ an hour, will test baby-to-be’s toys for lead and arrange for mommy-to-be’s “bump” to be photographed for posterity. Apparently, the prospect of motherhood is a daunting proposition. Said one expectant mom, "It's extremely overwhelming. I just had no idea what to expect, there are so many different marketing messages out there about all of these products that you need, and the way to do things. And, at this point, you don't know what to believe." What’s wrong with this picture?

Baby Planners such as InBloom or The Nest Baby will have no problem recommending popular or unusual names to the clients, however. The Social Security Administration released the most popular American baby names of 2007 just in time for Mother’s Day. After months of nail biting, I’m incredibly (excessively?) excited to bring you the top ten:

	Boys	Girls
1	Jacob	Emily
2	Michael	Isabella
3	Ethan	Emma
4	Joshua	Ava
5	Daniel	Madison
6	Christopher	Sophie
7	Anthony	Olivia
8	William	Abigail
9	Matthew	Hannah
10	Andrew	Elizabeth

Emily has topped the list since 1996. Jacob has done so since 1999. Elizabeth returns to the top ten after a two-year absence.

In addition to a list of the 1,000 most popular boys’ and girls’ names for 2007, the website has a list of the top 100 names for twins born in 2007. Jacob and Joshua are again the most popular twin’s names.

The Social Security website offers lists of baby names for each year since 1880. Social Security started compiling baby name lists in 1997.

Although “American Idol’s” Sanjaya did not influence this year’s list, other young celebrities influenced the naming of American children. Shiloh, the youngest daughter of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, debuted on the list at number 804. Maddox, the name of their oldest child, has seen steady gains since first appearing on the list in 2003 at number 583 and now ranking at number 226. Suri, the name of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' daughter, did not make the list. But Britney Spears' second son is named Jayden, which ranked at number 18. Miley is new to the girls’ list this year, entering fairly high at number 278, attributable to the popularity of teen sensation Miley Cyrus.

For reasons likely to puzzle baby name experts around the world, American parents have become infatuated by names, particularly for their sons, that rhyme with the word “maiden.” These names for boys include: Jayden (No. 18); Aiden (No. 27); Aidan (No. 54); Jaden (No. 76); Caden (No. 92); Kaden (No. 98); Ayden (No.102); Braden (No.156); Cayden (No.175); Jaiden (No.191); Kaiden (No. 220); Aden (No. 264); Caiden (No. 286); Braeden (No. 325); Braydon (No. 361); Jaydon (No. 415); Jadon (No. 423); Braiden (No. 529); Zayden (No. 588); Jaeden (No. 593); Aydan (No. 598); Bradyn (No. 629); Kadin (No. 657); Jadyn (No. 696); Kaeden (No. 701); Jaydin (No. 757); Braedon (No. 805); Aidyn (No. 818); Haiden (No. 820); Jaidyn (No. 841); Kadyn (No. 878); Jaydan (No. 887); Raiden (No. 931); and Adin (No. 983). This startling trend was present, but less pronounced, with girls names: Jayden (No. 172); Jadyn (No. 319); Jaden (No. 335); Jaiden (No. 429); Kayden (No. 507); and Jaidyn (No. 561). Social Security spokesman Mark Lassiter indicated that the agency would resist any legislative efforts to standardize the spelling of these names.

Experts also may be surprised by the extent to which American parents are naming their daughters after spiritual and philosophical concepts. One of the most popular names for girls (rising this year to number 31) is Nevaeh, which is “Heaven” spelled backwards. The variant Neveah came in this year at number 891 and Heaven is number 263. Also represented were: Destiny (No. 41); Trinity (No. 72); Serenity (No. 126); Harmony (No. 315); Miracle (No. 461); Charity (No. 673); Journey (No. 692); Destini (No. 914); and Essence (No. 930). Cutting against this trend was Armani (No. 971).

American parents were far less likely to name their sons in this way, although the 2007 boys’ list does include Sincere (No. 622) and Messiah (No. 723).

Finally, Commissioner Astrue expressed his approval that Elvis has risen 85 spots from number 761 to number 676 and noted, “It is further proof that Elvis is not dead.”

CYCLES IN FAMILY BUILDING---The Ebb and Flow of Adoption

Orphans prepare to leave on trains traveling west, late 1800s

Cycles in Family Building
Adoption, like everything else, moves in cycles . In 1851, Massachusetts was the first state to pass a law regulating the adoption of children. Adoption required judicial approval, consent of the child’s parent or guardian, and a finding that the prospective adoptive family was of sufficient ability to raise the child. While early adoption statutes required a finding of suitability on the part of the prospective adoption home, this requirement was more form than substance.

The need for legislation to protect the rights of children unable to speak for themselves are always on the dockets of courts nationwide. Laws involving domestic adoption vary significantly from state to state. They detail who can access to adoption records, consent to adoption, parties to adoption, putative fathers, regulation of adoption expenses, Infant Safe Haven Laws, use of advertising and facilitators in adoptive placements, statute sources and contact Information.

Legislation to protect the rights of children in foster or institutional care has often been late in appearing on the books. Most have come about after considerable lobbying by child welfare and grass root groups. 1997, President Bill Clinton signed a new foster care law, the Adoption and Safe Families Act (AFSA) which defined the length of time a child could languish in foster care without moving toward permanency either through adoption or a return to the family is just one such example. The Foster Care Independence Act of 1999 and The Kinship Caregiver Support Act are equally significant.

Laws dictating the process of an international adoption vary significantly from country to country, but must also adhere to the laws of the state where the adoption takes place as well as federal regulations. After 15 years in discussion and development, the United States federal government announced changes in its international adoption policies in line with the Hague regulations on the protection of children effective April 1, 2008. Get details from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services web site by using the links provided below.
Questions and Answers: Intercountry Adoption Instructions
Post-Hague Adoption Convention Implementation
USCIS Announces Changes to Guatemala Adoptions

This 150+ year cycle in adoption legislation is not likely to end as long as there are children and families seeking ways to build families.

The Cycle in International Adoption
The adoption of "war orphans" in the 1950s set the stage for the current cycle of international adoption activities. From roots in a humanitarian response to the needs of orphaned children in dire need, international adoption grew in the late 80s and early 90s as an acceptable way for potential adopters to build families. At the same time, the pool of healthy infants through domestic adoption shrunk as more unmarried women chose to parent their children.

Many view the "crisis" in international adoption as directly linked to increased regulation between sending and receiving countries. As tempting as that may be, these changes more likely reflect the normal ebb and flow of a social cycle. Fifty years has seen many changes from adoption in response to a child's need to adoption to fulfill a personal need to parent. The needs of the world's orphaned children have increased with epidemics such as AIDS, wars and internal struggles and natural disasters. Obstacles have also increased to adoption. What is the next frontier in family building? Some see reproductive technology as the answer. "Designer" babies? Embryo adoption? The future is already here, and a new cycle has begun.

More later!
Cindy