Then She Found Me

On a hot afternoon earlier this week, I joined two friends at the movies to see THEN SHE FOUND ME, starring Helen Hunt, Bette Midler, Colin Firth and Matthew Broderick. The theater was cool and very, very private. In fact, we were the only ones there. Too bad, because the movie was definitely worth seeing.

The story line turned out to be about adoption, search and reunion, infertility and a deeply buried longing to connect with someone who shared your genes. Helen Hunt, who wrote the movie, directed it, and starred in it, has devoted the last ten years of her life to getting it made.

Hunt plays April Epner, a New York schoolteacher who hits a midlife crisis when, in quick succession, her husband leaves, her adoptive mother dies and her biological mother suddenly inserts herself into her life. The beleaguered April subsequently forms an unexpected bond with her biological mother, the overbearing, third-rate morning TV host Bernice, played convincingly by Bette Midler, and takes tentative steps towards motherhood with a new man in her life played by Colin Firth. At its heart, however, the matter-of-fact film poses some thoughtful observations on what a late-30s woman goes through when she is facing a possibly childless future. “You can adopt,” urges her mother before she dies. April, who is herself adopted, refuses to consider it, leaving the audience to imagine the “whys”. There is an unexpected pregnancy with the husband who has left her and a planned pregnancy using donor insemination.

Both role and movie fit Hunt as comfortable as a favorite bathrobe. She won the three of us over long before the final tiny twist of the unexpected ending. “Chick flick?” For sure. You’ll need a tissue, but you’ll leave smiling. Ahhh!

What’s in a Name? Emerging Issues in Embryo Adoption and Donation

Two weeks ago I attended a national conference in Arlington, VA, on embryo adoption and donation. Most presenters argued for the “life begins at the moment of conception” position that assigns personhood to fertilized eggs in the embryonic state and the moral imperative to care and plan for them responsibly. Embryo donation and adoption was the thrust of the “care plan.”

Acknowledging that the practice is “fraught with legal, moral, ethical and spiritual issues,” Tom Atwood, President and CEO of the National Council for Adoption in Alexandria, VA, called for legal clarity and suggested that this practice needs to develop new terminology to describe the process. Calling embryo donation “adoption” confuses the clear, legal meaning of that already well-defined and generally accepted term, argued Atwood. Adoption means the embryo is a person while donation and transfer mean the embryo is property. The distinction begs the question of whether one can adopt a piece of property and make it a member of one’s family or own a person.

So, what’s in a name? Atwood suggested the phrase “placement for pregnancy and parenting,” shortened to “embryo placement” would identify the specific purpose of gifting one’s embryos to a receiving family and distinguishing this embryonic practice from others.

In this election year, few would argue against the power of the written and spoken word to sway thought and action. The feds/current administration has already awarded several millions to spin the story for the public. We have yet to see how law and practice will emerge to ensure that embryo placement is ethical and in the “best interest of the embryo.” Your thoughts?